5 Ways to Build Unshakable Confidence When the Pressure Is On

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with, it’s something you build. Especially when you’re one of the few women in a male-dominated field like orchestral conducting. In my early days, I had to learn how to appear confident in front of 80 musicians, even if I was terrified. So, how do you build that unshakable confidence that holds steady when the pressure’s on? Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. Focus on Small Wins

When I first started conducting, I was losing sleep over the pressure to perform perfectly, but I realized that waiting for a big, life-changing moment to validate me wasn’t working. My confidence was built through small wins - a rehearsal that went smoothly, the right sound from the orchestra, musicians who come to tell me how much they’ve enjoyed working with me. These moments might seem small, but they stack up, and eventually, they became my foundation.

Don’t wait for a grand, career-defining success to prove your worth. Pay attention to the little victories, they’re the bricks that build your confidence.

2. Trust Your Preparation (Even When It Feels Insufficient)

Before every big performance, I feel like maybe I should have done more. It doesn’t matter how many hours I’ve put into studying the score and rehearsing, it never feels enough. But that’s just my own insecurity rearing its head. At some point, you have to trust that you’ve done the work. You’ve prepared, and now it’s time to step up.

Over-preparing can feed into anxiety and diminish our confidence. Yes, do the work, but then trust that it’s enough. You’ve put in the hours, you know your stuff, believe in your own preparation.

3. Stick to Your Values

In my early career, I was constantly told to “be more assertive” or “change my body language to become bigger, man-like”. But leading like someone else is never the right choice. Real confidence comes from knowing who you are and what you stand for. When you lead from your core values, the pressure to conform to someone else’s leadership doesn’t matter anymore.

You can’t build confidence by pretending to be someone you’re not. Stick to your values and trust that your leadership style is exactly what the situation needs. When you’re true to yourself, you naturally resonate inner confidence without giving it much thought.

4. Embrace Failure (Or At Least Don’t Lose So Much Sleep About It)

I hate failing, it’s something I continue to struggle with, but we all fail sometimes. It’s inevitable, especially when you’re pushing yourself outside your comfort zone. Confidence isn’t about never failing, it’s about knowing that failure isn’t the end of the world and that you can pick yourself up, learn from it, and move forward.

I’ve missed cues, made bad calls in rehearsal, and had my share of crappy days on the podium, but as much as I hate it, every failure taught me something, and each one made me a better conductor.

5. Surround Yourself with People Who Get It

You don’t build unshakable confidence on your own. Throughout my career, I was fortunate to have mentors and colleagues who believed in me when I didn’t fully believe in myself. They reminded me of my strengths and helped me stay grounded when I wanted to quit.

Find your support system, the people who will believe in you, and keep you steady when things get tough so you’re not carrying the weight alone.

Confidence isn’t about always having the right answer or “faking it ‘till you make it”. It’s about showing up, doing the work, and trusting yourself that you’re capable of handling whatever comes your way.

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